I miss you, I miss you...

I finally let my emotions get to me last night. After I left work and went home I had a pretty decent nervous breakdown. It's been coming. I just let all the things that have been either bugging me, or worrying me finally set in and I completely lost it. By the grace of God, the rock of my life, Stanley, woke up early, comforted me and got me to get some rest. Before I fell asleep I was feeling bad for waking him up, so I told him I would take him to work, so he didn't have to take the bus, and sleep in. That was one of the better decisions I have made in a while. Even though I was sort of a Zombie, I got to spend the morning with my boo. We stopped and grabbed some food on the way and I wished him a great day at work, kissed him, and drove home. After I got home, I called him, and then was going to fall asleep. Right after I dozed off my mother called, and talked my ear off for about 30 minutes. I think that she is worried that I am not going to call my brother before he leaves for Afghanistan. I am. I will. I just need time. I fucking hate saying goodbye. I never talked to him before he went to Iraq the first time, and I always regretted that. I just don't want a phone call to be the last time I see the guy. I know that he will be safe, and I know I will see him this summer, but we have had some interesting riffs in the family lately, and I really don't know how to approach my family anymore. I'll go into all of that some other time. Anyways, after I talked to my mother I did end up falling asleep. I woke up about 40 minutes before I had to leave for work. I called my boy, and then left for work. Work for once was not a monotonous disaster. We weren't busy per say, but we did have some things going on that broke the night up enough to make tolerable.

I am really looking forward to going home and sleeping though, at least for a little bit. I am going to take Stanley to work again this morning. I just like the time we spend together. I know I may lose some sleep out of spending the morning with him, but it's completely worth it.

We both have Saturday off together again this week. I'm not sure what's planned, but I'd like to get all of my thank you notes written for Christmas, maybe play with Walter a little, and just cuddle with my man.

Here's to three days off!!!!!!! (and only 2 hours left here at work!)

Peace

-SJG